Saturday, October 13, 2007

sick of the tension, sick of the hunger, sick of you acting like i owe you this

can we press stop? can we rewind it all? can we disarm ourselves and stop this fighting?

i always thought we were over it. forgiven whoever has done wrong. removed all feelings of hurt and hatred. hah. guess i was wrong. doesn't it always come out this way? guess we just can't forget the grudges we bear. i try to tolerate. i try to ignore. but f**k it i can't. what the hell do you pple want? mobilise everybody into war? ge us to pick sides where we most certainly have no choice to? ironic isn't it? we want to stand on the 'correct' side, but can't betray the friends in the 'incorrect' side. push me to a corner. so i just withdraw. withdraw to this damn shell that i find hard to break. we should have never started it all. i can't believe my foolishness. what devil made me do it? give me the f**king freedom i deserve! i dun care what you guys think of me. i can lead my life how i want it. i can choose my own friends. all i want is for this to stop. even if i hurt anyone in anyway with whatever i'm doing or not doing i won't care to apologise. i will carry on living my life like it is now.

wow. whole paragraph of hatred. haha. i'm just afraid i will give in to myself and care about what the f**k is going on. hah. still, enjoy the silence.